Body and Soul investigates the different methods used to help babies sleep through the night. Picture: Getty. Source: National Features
SHOULD non-settling babies be left to cry it out or be comforted?
Should they sleep in their parents’ room or should their parents sleep in theirs? Is it realistic to expect a baby under 12 months old to achieve that gold star of babyhood, “sleeping through”?
In a rational world in which all parties are well rested, these questions are irrelevant. But for those many sleep-deprived mums and dads, these are the most important questions ever – and they need answers.
Parents of poorly sleeping babies will admit they feel tortured, not only because they haven’t strung together more than three consecutive hours of sleep in months, but also because every guru and relative has a “guaranteed solution” to make bub go down for the night and stay down until sunrise.
But how can mum and dad know which of the many methods will work for them?
-- Non-sleeping is normal --
First, stressed-out parents need to read the following information about babies and sleep:
+ Almost 50 per cent of bubs aged under 15 months still wake at least once a night.
+ Ninety-five per cent will wake crying in those first few months.
+ Half of one-year-old babies need a parent’s help to get back to sleep after waking.
+ A new baby typically strips about 400 to 750 hours of sleep from parents in the first year.
The main point Karen Willcocks, from parent education organisation Karitane, wants to stress is that parents shouldn’t blame themselves or their baby if sleeping and settling is not coming easily.
"We all have good days and bad days with a new baby, but this doesn’t make us good or bad people," she says.
Her colleague Monica Hughes, manager of education and research, adds, "Most babies aren’t born knowing how to go to sleep and stay asleep. You might get lucky but most babies will need to be taught and helped with this skill by their parents."
-- Controlled crying fades out of favour --
Controlled crying – or its more PC term "controlled comforting" – is an issue which inspires much debate. It seems one day there is research saying it’s a cruel method causing permanent emotional harm to babies and the next there’s a study claiming it’s the most effective way to get baby sleeping through.
While it remains a choice parents need to make, organisations such as Karitane and Tresillian, as well as many other parenting experts, do not support methods which involve clocks and babies crying themselves to sleep.
"Infant mental health research supports the idea of attending to crying patterns in infants. This builds the trusting relationship and helps babies to know they are acknowledged and supported when they are in need," say baby sleep authorities Caroline Radford and Caroline McMahon of Caroline’s Angels.
"Change, particularly in the area of sleep, can still be achieved if you use a calm, consistent and step-by-step method where you consider what the baby currently needs in order to settle. The next step involves figuring out what you want them to achieve and slowly working towards it."
-- A new method --
Named "parental presence" by a Karitane and Tresillian think tank, this new method requires high parental involvement but has been found to be successful in helping bubs aged six months to two years learn to settle and then resettle during the night.
It involves a parent sleeping in the same room as their baby for a minimum of a week, being a comfort to their bub and modelling good sleeping behaviours. Obviously this is not a strategy that suits all parents.
"There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for your baby to sleep better. Parents need to find a strategy that works for them and their baby," Hughes says.
Karitane outlines parental presence and other settling techniques in its online guide, Sleep & Settling.
"What we really want parents to know is that there are many organisations like Karitane that are available to support those who are experiencing difficulties," Willcocks says.
** Where to get help **
There are early parenting centres around Australia with hotlines, websites and residential programs offering support to bleary-eyed mums and dads. Here are a few:
NSW:
*Karitane: 1300 227 464.
*Tresillian: (02) 9787 0855.
Victoria:
*Queen Elizabeth Centre: (03) 9549 2777.
* Tweddle: (03) 9689 1577.
Queensland:
*Ellen Barron Family Centre: (07) 3139 6500.
SA:
*Torrens House:
1300 733 606.
WA:
Caroline's Angels - Baby Sleep Specialists - 0400 840 303 or 0400 209 195
*Ngala Family Resource Centre: (08) 9368 9368.